and with that, my last refuge was destroyed.

one of the methods i have used to grab myself a small break has been to park the twins in their cribs and turn on a baby einstein dvd. i have found these moments, especially in that period where i'm making dinner in the evenings, to be invaluable.

late this morning, i decided it was time to employ this method. i was lying on the couch not feeling well coughhungovercough, and the girls were crawling all over me. elbows and knees were finding all soft spots on my body never designed for contact with elbow and knees.

i said "cmon, ladies: time for some baby einstein."

i came back to the couch and while the husband surfed online for soccer highlights, i dozed.

so imagine my surprise when i heard him say "look!", opened my eyes and saw Dixie standing in the living room.

turns out she can now get out of her crib on her own.

when the twins do things that they've not done up to this point, i am always met with the same conflicting thoughts and emotions. they usually run together, stream of consciousnessy, sounding like "oh my god look what she can do i'm so impressed on no please jesus make my baby stop leaving me!"

and as i looked into her eyes, i realized i am one step closer to awakening to a finger in my eye at 3 am.