touching my stuff is bad for your health

"Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister, and Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man!"

isn't it funny how you can be completely convinced you don't want or need something in your until you see someone enjoying it? then, of course, you gotta have it, right? it's the most important thing ever, right?

there has got to be no other realm other than the world of twins where this little quirk is played out regularly in all its ugly, irrational glory. the same girls who can tag-team a cohort into a corner at daycare suddenly start circling each other like Armored Bears over the smallest of things.

for instance, i submit for you this scene from a snowed in Saturday afternoon:




Boca: Dixie, do you want this teddy bear? want your teddy?

Dixie: no.

Boca: you sure? you don't want your teddy?

Dixie: no.

Boca: ok. here, Trixie. here's a teddy.

Dixie: MYYYYEEEEEEEE TEDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *kerSNATCH*

and so it went all weekend, with various items substituted for teddy, such as crayon, blanket, baby, juice....and i just took a moment away from the keyboard to break up a battle over a stroller.

i grew up an only child with half-siblings on my father's side in their own houses touching their own shit and not mine. i'm not used to this and frankly, it annoys the hell out of me. my inner only child cries out in torment every time i see a toy jacking go down "gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, why can't you just leave her shit alone! you got your own shit! go get it!"

See? nobody talks about what it's like for only children to raise siblings groups. well let me assure you, much like calculus and pimpin, it ain't easy.

ok, granted, i get that they are two and that means they are by nature irrational self-centered beings. but i promise you, when this carries over into their teens...and i said when, not if; i'm quixotic, not naive...i will completely lose my mind.

not that it's gonna take much. my mind is already on a long, long leash and has galloped away out of my eyeshot. the irrational fights over shirts, shoes, and (god help us all) boys will surely cause that leash to snap like an old rubber band.

so here we are. epic battles threaten to break out at the slightest provocation. if i tickle one, i better get to tickling the other. kissing one, pucker up, mama, here comes the other one, holding one, scoot over you, i need me some lap as well, and on and on and on.

let's just hope that in the furture, they are just as jealously preoccupied with one another when it comes to chores:

"but, moooooooooooooooooooooom, I wanted to do the dishes! she did them yesterday!!! why are you trying to ruin my life????"

yeah, a mom can dream.