Confessions of a Bad Mother: Shut Your Trap, Darling.

one of the things i anxiously waited for was the development of language in Trixie and Dixie. and by "anxiously waited for," i mean i paced the floor evenings, scoured Babycenter, and occasionally peppered coworkers with questions about whether or not it was normal for 10 month old twins to not be able to recite The Raven.

but now that it's "coming in nicely" as the daycare ladies like to say....as if the girls language acquisition is much like a row of corn....i have to admit:

by the 200000000000th "maaaamaaaa!", i am totally over it.

i would like to share with you a snippet of what it's like living with Trixie Chatterbox and Dixie Clickygums:

"mamaaa! my juice! mamaaa! i want juice! my mouth! mamaaaa, my mouth, it hurts! mamaaa? mamaaaaa! MAMAAAAA! where's Co, mama? mama? mama! mamaaaaa, i want tv, mama! where's Dora? mama? mama! where's Ho Ho, mama? mamaaaaaa, i want juice! mamaa! up! down! mamaaa, i love you mama*! night night, mama, mama! no sleep! no sleep mama! potty! mama! mama, potty? potty! MAMA! POTTY!! mama! want to brush teeth, mama! my teeth brush! mama! MAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

and on and on and on until i want to run screaming out the door.

think about it: do you want anyone you know in your life using your name that much when they speak to you? of course you don't. after the fourth or fifth time, your hand is involuntarily curling into a fist and there's this new tension in your shoulder you'd love to release. but most people and governmental agencies frown on giving your kids the two-piece when they irk you. so you're stuck listening to your child say your name 800 times a minute while your nerves jangle around under your skin like a set of old keys.

i love my kids desperately, i really do. but serioulsy? does anyone know where i can get a bottle of Shet Up, Already? does it maybe come in a liquid i can put in their humidifier?

just saying.

*okay, that one gets me right in the old ticker ever time i hear it. it truly never gets old.