Halloween Effin Sucks.

and here we are again.

i said to myself "self, this year will be different."

i said "self, you have one halloween under your belt already."

said "there's absolutely no reason for you to get as stressed out about costumes as you did last year."

"you had a tendency to blow things out of proportion. that was just another example."


and then i started looking around online for costumes. and i remembered why i was stressed out about something as stupid as Halloween.

Many of the costumes are cheap, ugly and uncomfortable looking.

A lot of the costumes, while not looking like anything special. will kick your wallet into the stratosphere. Until this moment, have you ever seen a $34.00 monkey? Know what i can get for a little over $34? TWO WINTER COATS!

the costumes are never EVER sold as complete as the picture illustrated. You might see a cute kid standing there in a red and black ladybug costume for $15.00. but what you're getting is a red and black sleeveless tunic and a headband. the t-shirt? those leggings? those shoes? you're on your own, kid.

pressure. your kids don't CARE that it's Halloween and they may or may not even register their costumes look any different than their spaghetti sauce covered play clothes. but everyone else knows. the daycare. your coworkers. your friends. your family. and if you skip out on a costume and subsequent photo opportunity, someone is calling CPS behind your back.

when you find the perfect costume at the perfect price, it's either sold out or not in your kid's size. yes, that's right: everyone has the same eye for perfect as you do. the only different is they have credit cards, iphones, and more time on their hands to make their dreams come true.

and so now, on October 5, i am again feeling the stress of finding the most adorable, mostly complete, totally affordable ladybug and bumblebee costumes this side of the grand canyon.

i fear my odds of success are just as high as being able to pick out a yellow flower growing along the basin of said canyon from a helicopter with the naked eye.